Hi Ica,
This UA article might be a good start: https://uphillathlete.com/know-thyself/. It sounds simple, but I think it takes a lot of thought and effort and experience to get it right (and it’s a continual process).
It’s hard to get a sense of exactly what you’re looking for, but reading somewhat between the lines, it seems like maybe you already know the answer/solution. My (perhaps incorrect) interpretation of what you wrote is that you have been working hard (student/job) and using your little available time to achieve big, hard objectives. Awesome. Now, maybe, some of those objectives have started to become a little scary. And now, perhaps, you still have limited time, or even more limited time, and maybe you’re a little older, and you feel a pressure to keep pushing, but you don’t feel quote comfortable, and you don’t know where to go from here? You mentioned that what you think you might be missing is a foundation of easier, non-scary routes, well-within your abilities. Is the solution simply to dedicate some time to routes of this kind, in a gradual progression, until you feel confident again? The big stuff will still be there when you’re ready…