[nickferenc]

nickferenc on June 7, 2018 at 11:41 am · in reply to: New Fatherhood and Training #10210

Great stuff on this thread. I’ll add one more – it’s been helpful for me to pare down the number of activities/interests in my life. Being a good husband/father is priority #1. Whatever is left over goes to: maintaining a positive attitude, growing in my professional life, working to stay physically/mentally healthy, and skiing/climbing. I used to spend time ocean fishing and playing golf in the summers – and ten other hobbies/interests – all amazing stuff that I generally enjoyed (and miss). I just came to the realization that I had to choose and couldn’t do everything.

[nickferenc]

nickferenc on May 16, 2018 at 12:47 pm · in reply to: New Fatherhood and Training #9898

Hi Dave,
As a father of three young boys, I have some thoughts. (Congrats btw). Of note, I am a novice climber and only “found” climbing in my early 30s as my first son was about to come into the world – no doubt you are a WAY better climber than myself. So we may have different vantages on the subject. In no specific order:

1) If you are worried about risk (or your spouse has concerns), hire a certified guide. As Steve could no doubt attest, working with an IFMGA guide is a truly rewarding experience. Not only are they true professionals and excellent teachers, but they are bad-a$$ mofos in their own right. So most likely if you can dream it, they can help you. And I know many of them would be happy to let you grab the sharp end and work in partnership. Alleviates the potential anxiety of “I haven’t placed gear in months” or “Man, hope I remember some rock rescue stuff I learned a few years back” or “I wonder if this slope is OK to ski”. Also, I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know guides as people and hearing their stories. (Beyond Steve, of course), I highly recommend Jed Porter, IFMGA guide and Silas Rossi, IFMGA guide. And there are 100+ others out there.

2) Fitness and training – First, treat your health and well-being as non-negotiable. Whether training for climbing or just staying fit and active, I think it is important to take care of yourself and take care of each other. Of course, you can’t be at the rock gym and then leave your wife to handle bed time. But you have to find a way – lunch breaks at work, early mornings, late night after baby is asleep. I find early mornings and lunch break during work is best if you can get into the habit. Afternoons, evenings, and nights have not been successful times for me to workout – I’m exhausted and don’t want to sacrifice time with my wife after putting my boys to bed. Simply put – don’t let your health slip away from you. Also, running / hikes / etc is a great way to engage your spouse as opposed to the next cool show on Netflix.

3) Let your wife know how important climbing is to you. And ask her what hobbies / activity / interest she values as an individual. Work together to plan time for you both to individually do those things you are most passionate about. My wife is an artist and loves to go up to Maine for a painting workshop and I take care of the kids for 3-4 days. In July and August, she lets me take a trip out West for a few days to get into the bigger hills. We both try and coordinate grandparents or other help to ease the burden while the other spouse is gone. The best thing is both us come back from our respective things re-charged, missing family, and with a renewed sense of joy around each other and children. Wins and wins and wins all around.

4) Lastly, perhaps the most important thing you can do as a parent is to set a good example by how you act, how you treat people, what you say, etc. I think it is awesome to have your kids watch you train and work hard, strive for climbing goals, and make progress in something you love. Let them know about your aspirations and see the value of hard work in real time.

Good luck and again, congrats on becoming a parent.

Cheers,
Nick