Thanks for writing in with your question. That’s a huge burden that you are carrying. I’ve not heard of networks like you are seeking but you’re right that there is probably a need for such a thing. Perhaps forming such resource might be a way for you to focus some of your grief in a positive way. I’ll talk with Steve about how we might support an effort like that by promoting it on our site.
Death is the unhappy cousin to all the joy that the mountains bring. Most of us have had close brushes with death and lost friends in the mountains. In my personal experience, while you will recover from the mental trauma, you will carry those scars with you. They’ll impact mainly your risk tolerance in the future. But they may affect your joy too. Our mortality comes sharply into focus after these events.
Don’t force things. Take baby steps back into that world. You do not need more trauma even if it is just a self imposed irrational fear that you would not have experienced prior to your loss. You need to seek the joy of moving through the mountains without the fear and anxiety you have been experiencing. Maybe you will start with simple mountain hikes/runs. There are other ways to get the benefits of the mountains without venturing into steep alpine terrain.
I wish you luck and I hope others on this forum will chime in with their thoughts.